A gentle moan about the state of the railways in Britain: In November, I'll be speaking at the Translator as Strategic Partner conference in London, which I am looking forward to. What I am not looking forward to is the logistical challenge of getting home again!

Getting there is simple. I can get on board one of Virgin Trains' lovely new Pendolino trains near my office in Stockport, and two hours later I will be in central London. Conference organiser Michael Benis has kindly arranged a hotel for me in London, and the conference promises to be a lot of fun, with over 250 delegates already booked.

But the way home..... oh dear!

Firstly, the West Coast Mainline is closed for repairs in Rugby. Again. So my journey home would involve a train, then a bus, then another train and if I am lucky, I would be home in around 4 to 5 hours. Hmmm, remember my two-hour journey on the way down? Maybe not!

So... plan B: My secret plan B involves catching a Midland Mainline train from London's lovely St Pancras station to Sheffield, and then the cross-country train to Manchester. Normally that works quite well. But on the weekend in question, that line also appears to be closed, this time for repairs at Derby. Trains replaced by buses. Oh dear.

I have written before on the sad state of Britain's railways. My grandfather was a train driver, back in the days of steam trains. I dread to think what he'd make of the current state of affairs! Still, on the bright side, there's always this useful international dictionary of useful phrases for rail travellers in Britain, which the translation company that I work for provided the translations for in Spanish, Italian, French, Dutch and Polish.